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Parents And Deaf Children | Techniques That Foster Changes In Behavior.




Encouragement and positive re-framing focus on your youngster’s strengths and positive intentions.

By demonstrating an unconditional belief in your youngster, you lay the foundation for an “I can do!” attitude (confidence), enthusiasm and motivation for personal growth.

           Hearing impaired girl on swings

You offer encouragement by words, actions, and feelings. Your kid might need a hug after falling off a swing and some prodding to get back on.

Or perhaps he or she might need you to be lovingly firm through all of the tears before his or her dance class (which, of course, they’d enjoy once there).

Positive re-framing requires that you, as a provider, point out the silver lining to every cloud regarding the hearing impaired.

When a negative or potentially negative situation occurs, you re-define (re-frame) it in such a way that makes the youngster hopeful and motivated towards healthy outcomes.

For example, “You tried so hard to help daddy by carrying a big, full shopping bag. Next time we’ll have you carry a smaller one and maybe we can avoid having the bag rip.”

Encouragement and positive re-framing are especially useful in promoting a youngster’s capacity for self-appraisal.

How Do Parents Use Encouragement And Positive Re-framing?


Those two closely related techniques are often used together. You use them whenever you accurately paint a positive picture of your kid’s efforts and abilities.

With practice, you can identify and underscore positive elements for the young individual in any situation, no matter how bleak it appears.

Choose comments and questions that held your youngsters assess and praise himself, such as, “Aren’t you proud of yourself for studying for your test.”

Make encouraging comments, such as, “You sure did make the dishes sparkle!”

Re-frame discouraging situations; for example, “Yes, you got a D, but it is an honest D – you studied, you really tried and you didn’t cheat. I am proud of you.” 

Boosting your kid’s self-confidence helps him have faith in his ability to confront everyday challenges and to create positive outcomes.

Some find it hard to directly accept encouraging comments but can benefit from overhearing/over “seeing” your praise. For example, when Emily is present ask a third party, “Did you know that Emily swam the length of the pool today?”

Another helpful method for interrupting undesirable behaviors and extricating your kid from negative situations is to review positive moments, “I remember when you…”

In this way, you help your youngster remember past successes, renewing his or her faith in their own ability as well as the bright side of life.



Mutual respect builds your kid’s self-esteem and sensitivity to others. Empathy, the ability to understand another’s point of view, is a necessary skills for building healthy relationships.

Parents can best teach their child about mutual respect and empathy by demonstrating respect and understanding for him or her, for their feelings, thoughts, and experience.

Though this sounds simple, accepting a hearing impaired individual fully means accepting the child’s deafness.

If parents are shocked, saddened, confused or angry about their kid’s condition, then the parents should seek help to cope with these feelings.

         Young boy with partial hearing loss

In addition, the hearing family must learn to accommodate the hearing impaired toddler’s communication needs, which does not happen overnight.

Therefore, a parent might have gaps in understanding how his youngster thinks and feels about things.

This doesn’t indicate the absence of mutual respect, it indicates a communication problem that will require more patience and time to resolve.

The results are worth the investment of time and patience.

Families that base their relationships on mutual respect and empathy have an easier time living together, cooperating, and learning from one another.

How Do Parents Build Respect With And Have Empathy For Their Child?

You convey respect (or lack of it) for your deaf kid by many of your daily actions. You fail to respect your youngster when you talk down to him or her; purposely embarrass them; laugh at their efforts; exclude them from family communication; or look through their private belongings without asking permission.

You convey respect by soliciting and listening to your youngster’s opinion, by allowing him or her the latitude to negotiate his communication needs, express clothing preferences, choose friends, and pursue hobbies.

You want to send the message that you value his or her taste and individuality. You demonstrate your respect for them through myriad of subtle actions.

But not rushing to your deaf youngster’s rescue when he or she is trying to solve a math problem, repair a broken toy, or construct a Lego skyscraper, you show respect for (and confidence in) his independent efforts and accomplishments.

Parents and caregivers should show empathy (understanding), not sympathy (pity), for challenges and obstacles that come their way due to his or her hearing loss.


Find ways to laugh, love, and in short, enjoy your hearing impaired child. All of the parental worrying, drudgeries, schedules, and heartaches should be balanced by laughter, affection, excitement, and joy.

            Parent playing with deaf daughter

There are no rules that say parents must always be serious.

Allow your child to rekindle your playfulness – tickle, giggle, joke, go sledding, hug, love, and be downright goofy whenever you get the chance.

Love, humor, and affection can go a long ways in regards to raising a child with hearing loss.

How parents can use humor and affection?

Love, cherish, and accept your child simply because he is himself or herself. Your child needs to know that even when he or she misbehave you still love them.

This gives them the message that you may not love some of their behaviors, but you will always love them.

This enables your child to take risks, practice problem-solving skills, and examine his behavior, without worrying whether their efforts will affect your show of affection.

Physical and emotional affection are key components of parenting. Verbal and nonverbal expressions of your feelings show your child that your support and love are everlasting.

Such actions as saying “I love you,” hugging, kissing, or affectionately playing with your child’s hair (especially when he or she is not expecting it) tell them just how special and important he is to you.

Never overlook the value of humor. Like playful playing, laughter, joking, and daily silliness greatly restore perspective.

When parents defuse tension by seeing the lighter side of a problem, children feel less threatened and take more risks in examining their difficulties.

NEVER make a joke out of your hearing impaired child – it is not funny to be ‘sacrificed’ for the sake of a good laugh.



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I consider myself one of the most hardest working, helpful guy in regards to online marketing. Earned my Associate Degree in 2000. majoring in mortuary science and hearing loss in children and adults.

8 comments on “Parents And Deaf Children | Techniques That Foster Changes In Behavior.”

  • My mom is a babysitter for 10 years. Although never encountered a deaf child, every child is pure at heart and they are similar in every way. I had experience with a child who never talk. When handling a child, it is best to use examples and encouraging ways. Sometimes we may get mad and yell in a negative way, but it has a very bad effect on our children. The positive way is the best.

    • Hi Kit. Raising a child, either as a caregiver or as a parent, is a challenging task. Taking care of a disabled one is a hard job within itself. All children should be treated the same, disability side. As you stated, we should set examples for our children and staying positive is one of the ‘key’ ingredients towards that success.

  • This post provides really useful information for parents with deaf children.Also, for all people with loved ones who are in a similar situation.
    Communication is very important in building relationships. Everyone deserves appreciation and to be loved.
    I have learned a very important lesson. I didn’t realise using encouragement and positive re-framing could go a long way in boosting self-esteem for kids.
    Is the Wireless Doorbell also available in the UK?

    • Hello Zegu, how are you and thanks for stopping by. I’m so glad you found some value in this post. Hearing loss is a serious issue and parents must always keep the lines of communication open. Despite a child’s shortcomings, a parents job is to help their child through society. Get them to understand, they’re no different than anyone else.

      Displaying an act of love, goes a long way. A child will accept this someone really caring about them and in turn, do better in life. Encouragement is ‘key’. Without encouragement  and positive reinforcement, a disabled child will lose all sense of direction and purpose.

      In regards to the Wireless Doorbell, I’m pretty sure this item is available in the UK. Check it out. 

  • Hi RJ

    Thank you for a wonderful article and the need to really be an active agent in our children’s lives 🙂

    The example you used is what happens every week in my household when it comes to grocery shopping.

    My wife will come home and our daughter will do her darndest to help out dropping everything in the process. My wife gets really frustrated, but I always suggested using positive reinforcement type remarks to encourage her efforts as well.

    I really enjoyed reading your article and will send a copy to my sister as well 🙂

    • Hi Mike. Thanks for checking in. I’m very glad you enjoyed my article. I try to be as vocal and a provider of good quality information, as I possibly can. The families going through crisis need this. When I first chose to write on this subject, I was very surprised how many people every month are seeking information on this subject.

      A lot of times, readers will see themselves or some type of family situation within my articles. (As long as it’s positive, then all is good).

      As I mentioned be before, when parents show actions that convey “I love you,” hugging, kissing, or affectionately playing with your child’s hair, (especially when he or she is not expecting it) tell them just how special and important he is to you. Never criticize their efforts. Keep everything in a positive light. Positive encouragement can go a long ways in a child’s growth and development.

      Thanks again Mike for checking in and commenting. Let me know if you have ant other concerns.


  • This is a wonderful post. I wish I had have learned sign language. My sisters bf’s son is deaf and I feel so bad that I don’t know how to communicate with him. Thank goodness for text messaging. I love the colors and the theme of your site as well.

    • Thank you Laurieann for commenting. It’s very much appreciated. Hearing loss in a child, as well as in an adult, is an issue no parent wants to deal with. It’s a situation that you can’t turn your back on. All a person can do as a parent or caregiver, is to educate themselves on the subject, s much as they possibly can. Learn sign and be able to teach it to our young.

      You mentioned about learning sign language yourself. Laurieann, it would have been a good thing and it’s never too late to learn basic sign. I offer simple-to-follow sign language cd’s on my product page, where an individual can teach and communicate with deaf babies and toddlers. (just think my friend, having this additional knowledge back then you could have better communication with your sister’s bf son).

      If you’d like to see what my product page offer, just go here:  Thanks again for stopping by and commenting Laurieann. Let me know if you have any other questions or concerns.

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