Original Published Date: March 13, 2021

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Adjustments have to be made through caring parents. Focus should be made on mainly understanding:



There are many behavior changes a child may experience as he or she goes through life. These are behavior issues related to feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, and irritability. They can become problematic when a child is unable to control or appropriately express them.

Sometime deaf children have no way to name, categorize, or normalize the emotions they feel.

They need to learn what it is that they are feeling (feeling signal), words and names for those feelings, and appropriate actions for expressing them.

Poor Ability To Identify Feeling States. Feeling states are the internal sensation of emotions such as anger, sadness, happiness, and fear. How to feel good and valuable is what’s key!

If a deaf child is taught words by sign, the feelings of the child should not become overwhelming, frightening, and out of control.

When able to identify and acknowledge what they are feeling, the child is more likely to get the support he or she needs.

Children need ongoing instruction and assistance to manage their feelings effectively. This is what’s suggested:

I recommend using the following three-step process:


1. Learning to recognize feeling signals by observing others and noticing others and noticing how an emotion feels in his or her own body. Examples are tightening of the jaw, clenching the fist, a fluttering in the stomach, and a flush of heat to the head.

2. Identifying and naming a feeling. Ask your child what a particular feeling signal indicates. “You got all red in the face, were you mad? embarrassed?”

3. Learning what to do with a feeling. You can help your child identify how an expression of a feeling can have positive or negative results.

Your child may have a particular physical makeup that makes her sensitive to touch, foods, noises, lightening, or gravity. Because of the way your child’s central nervous system reads stimulation, he or she may exhibit emotional expression in a manner that seems extreme (e.g. the child hits if her hair is played with).

If you want to investigate this possibility further, contact an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory defensiveness and deafness.

Consider and rule out possible physical causes of your child’s mood, such as fatigue, hunger, or over-stimulation. Plan ahead in order to avoid situations that may frustrate a tired or overstimulated child.

Praise your child when he or she expresses herself appropriately. Be patient. As your child matures, so will his or her ability to identify, understand, and communicate his or her feelings.

You can assist in this process by experimenting with physical and verbal outlets for expressing feelings appropriately. Keep in mind his or her developmental skills “learning” and limitations.



Feeling Good And Valuable | Knowing What Works
Dream State

Have you ever awakened from a dream in which you were trying to escape someone or something frightening and your feet would not carry you to safety?

Or, you were trying desperately to get help and found that you no longer had a voice? Attempting to reach a destination, but unable to find your way?

I would imagine that your relief has been as great as mine when, upon awakening, the realization has finally crept in that it was “only a dream.”

What, you may ask, does all this have to do with moodiness in young children? First, I would like to ask that you keep in mind the feelings produced by the dream experience: the frustration, helplessness, fear, and vulnerability.

We, as adults, can find relief in the discovery that these experiences were only dreams. But, for children, this experience is not just a dream but their day-to-day reality.

At no other time in one’s life are needs so great and skills so few as in early childhood. Beginning in infancy, a child is entirely helpless and dependent upon the instincts of caretakers.

We must guess, when a deaf infant cries, just what is the cry communicating. Is it hunger, a need to be held, or a diaper in need of changing?



Teaching a deaf child to manage moods and value feelings is to teach a child two of the most significant self-esteem builders.

After all, we all feel better about ourselves when we “behave” and are pleasant. Likewise, self-esteem grows when a child learns that feelings are to be respected and listened to, not shamed and dismissed.

Feeling Good And Valuable | Knowing What Works
Partially deaf boy playing baseball with dad.

Our nerve-endings, when they properly develop, are our best protectors against serious injury.

If we were to touch a hot stove, a quick message would be sent to our brain signaling pain and an equally quick response would cause us to remove our hand to prevent further injury.

In the same way, feelings become our best protectors against harm of other sorts. A child who learns to respect inner feelings and instincts, will know when a playground bully is out of line.

They’ll talk and complain to adults about being bullied, and ultimately, look for new playmates.

A child whose feelings have not been nurtured may dismiss uncomfortable feelings and endure uncomfortable circumstances.

Similarly, our feelings teach us about that which feels good and rewarding. They becomes a “barometer” to be relied upon, ever informing us of our needs, likes, dislikes, dangers, and pleasures.

The calibration of this fine tool begins in early childhood. Being taught family unity with empathy & limits, the willingness to “listen” to that which words cannot yet express; the creation of words, signing included, regarding the common language; and ultimately teaching a child to use words as well as actions to explain feelings.

Your child’s expressions may appear to be more graphic for a number of reasons: a) when signing, she probably will have stronger facial and bodily expressions: b) when learning to identify and express new feelings, the child might “overdo” it, and c) the child may feel an urgency to get her point across, especially if it is important to him or her.

Once he or she feels more capable of communicating effectively, the latter two factors will recede. However, pronounced expressiveness is the norm in the deaf community as well as for the deaf person who is not an active community member.

What’s important is to create a supportive family environment in which feelings and their appropriate expression are unconditionally accepted.



Hearing parents of non-hearing children and non-hearing adults in the deaf community attending special outdoor events, often do not have opportunities to become acquainted with each other.

Hearing parents with deaf children, usually remain unaware of this society and community events, and hearing impaired adults do not have a pressing need to include hearing parents in non-hearing community activities.

Deaf daughter with hearing parent

An unfortunate result of such a division is that both hearing parents and non-hearing adults do not understand or learn from one another and the hearing impaired child must navigate between them.

Your entire family can become comfortable with the idea of a hearing impaired community and can benefit from attending special events.

When you meet welcoming non-hearing adults, make sure to maintain contact with them.

Ask them to let you know about special events regarding hearing loss. Work at building friendships with adults dealing with hearing loss, and subsequently invite them into your home.

When a child suffering from hearing loss has hearing parents begins to assimilate more cultural values.

He or she may find conflicts between non-hearing and hearing ways.

This is not a bad thing! Your child has to begin somewhere in working out how he will handle his bicultural existence.

If the deaf child becomes familiar with the values and behaviors of both cultures, he or she will gradually learn to make adaptations when moving back and forth between the two.



Communication, along with sincere family bonding, is so important among the hearing and non-hearing. At some point in your child’s development, especially in pre-adolescence and adolescence, he or she may become a militant supporter of the society’s values.

If he or she has not already done so, he may at this time realize that many of his frustrations arise not because there is something wrong with them, but as a result of hearing people not communicating well and understanding his or her needs.

Always listen to your child’s point of view and let him or her communicate what he or she is learning about themselves. This is so important within the deaf culture. So be up on culture changes, and prepare yourself to ask some questions through voice or sign; depending on the severity of the child’s hearing ability.

Check out these amazing CD’s & manuals designed to teach & promote quality, effective, & integrated learning.


The Center for Personal Reinvention Certified Coach in Self-Esteem Elevation for Children Program will save you time and money and qualify you to earn a lucrative living as a Certified Coach in Self-Esteem Elevation for Children.

Many parents and teachers take the course simply to be better qualified to support children to learn the secrets that will champion them to develop soaring, unstoppable total self-esteem! The Certification part is optional and at no extra cost, should you wish to achieve the title of Certified Coach in Self-Esteem Elevation for Children.

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6 thoughts on “How Deaf Kids Feel Good And Valuable | A New Beginning

  1. What really struck me here is that small hearing children quickly get frustrated and angry because they cannot quite express themselves, or they aren’t being acknowledged as they think they should be.  So how much harder it is for a non hearing child to express themselves and for the parent to understand.

    I was particularly moved by the fact that for some non hearing children, they are in a situation similar to what we might experience in a dream.  Only we quickly waken from it, while the non hearing child cannot.

    While all parents seek to bond with their children, your post has shown that it is crucial to bond with non hearing children so that you can interpret their emotions and behaviours and be there to help them understand them and to work through them.

    Another very enlightening post.  Thanks .

    • Ronald Kennedy

      It seems that non hearing children seek more attention than a hearing child. I feel it’s the parents duty to display this added attention to the child. As I stated before, communication is ‘key.’ A better understanding and bonding will exist between both through signing.

  2. Crypto Dave

    Great informative article. It can be hard enough working through problems with kids who are not hearing impaired. You have raised some great points here. I have not had anything to do with the hearing impaired, but I can now understand some of the challenges, thanks to your post.

    If only we could all become more aware of problems like this. I think we would all be better for it, thanks for the information.

    • Ronald Kennedy

      Yes crypto, children can be a problem at any age, but most definitely when one has a disability. Any physical or mental disability discovered within a child is crushing news to a parent. Parents can use as much help as they can get, from within the family, in regards to raising a handicapped child. Please share

  3. mohamed jendoubi

    Many studies indicate that the moral support that parents often return to children leads to many positive results on his growth and on his way of thinking, especially as it helps to activate adrenaline, so the child feels joy, activity and confidence and increases his ability to absorb information and his way of thinking. You become positive and he becomes optimistic.

    • Ronald Kennedy

      Well said Mohamed. Much to do is placed on parents & educators in helping to obtain success for our young children with hearing disabilities. I feel the school system should employ more trained instructors specializing in this field which in turn, would produce positive growth for students.

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